Five Things
by Seosh
Summary: She made a promise to herself, she had to hold on to it. If she didn't she wouldn't have only failed everyone else, but more importantly herself. This was for her. Set in S6/S7: Somalia. Complete!
1. Remembering

**A/N:** Alright so here I go again, another (hopefully) multi-chap. Set in between S6 and S7 where Ziva was in Somalia. So if you would like to see where this goes, then please leave a review.

**Disclaimer:** I signed a piece of paper… that was it though, a blank piece of paper…

.::.

**Five Things  
**I. Remembering

.::.

When one is stuck in a dark unforgiving hell hole, surrounded with no more than piles over piles of sand with no way out, what is there one can do?

Trying to ignore the pain and the eager budges of thoughts proved fruitless, all it resulted with was more pain and more high-ridden thoughts. If she never went to America she'd have more control over herself, that land had made her weak; but on the other hand, if she never went there she wouldn't be here in the first place.

Days clocked by so slowly it felt like it had been years, time seemed to lose its entire beat and as she thought more and more about it, the seconds turned from snakes to snails to just dead beat carcasses.

But after what really was at most three days, there was one thing that made her want her capturer to come back. She hadn't at first, but it became something she craved for and it delighted her when those dusty heavy duty black boots banged the door open and dragged itself over the loose sand to her side.

At first it was painful as he kicked and spat mumbles of words from his sharp tongue, interrogating every piece of useful information out of her. When those leather boots dug themselves into her side, she nearly screamed her head out at the fiery sensation that exploded throughout her body, but somehow she had gathered something in her to refrain herself from doing so.

She wasn't quite sure, but by the second meeting she had with her torturer she could feel her ribs cracked on both sides, they were just waiting for the final blow to collapse inward and puncture her lung, suffocating her to death.

But that never came, he must've known. Known the damage he had inflicted and she guessed so at his precision. She'd actually gotten used to the pain, that searing feeling became nothing more than a million ants crawling over her body like she was the sweetest thing they've ever found.

Then came the tugs of hair and punches to her once beautiful face that had allowed her on so many occasions to have her ways with both men and women. And that violent vibration that sprung through her head was what she loved the most, what she looked forward to every time she heard those sick footsteps head her way.

.::.

A/N: Things will get interesting if you review. xD! *Apologies to any mistakes, present and future*


	2. A Fight, of a Different Nature

**II. A Fight, of a Different Nature**

.::.

"_Promise me, you'll take care of them no matter what," a deep husky voice echoed throughout the empty room._

"_Of course I will, I've been doing it for all their life, and what did you ever do, I don't even know where you are half the time!" the voice belonged to a female, and it was just as commanding and forceful as the man's._

"_Rivka! Do you think this – this house, everything in it comes for free? I do what I do whether you like it or not to give you all this! I want the best for our children, and if that means I have to…" the loud voice quietened to nearly a hush, "… if that means I have to kill to do that, I would."_

_There was a long silence then, Ziva sat outside the door, afraid to move. It was just too damn quiet, and to her father's ears, a single twitch would've set of his alarms, he was a killer after all. She could hear an abrupt sigh before the female voice returned, this time a touch softer._

"_Well don't get yourself killed."_

"_I'm trained, I can defend myself… you take care of them, they are – weak."_

.::.

Ziva couldn't even remember the time she stumbled over her parents in the basement; it had only come about and rose protruding to the surface when the pair of dirty leather boots knocked her half unconscious. She was well aware of the bruise on her forehead that had grown to the size of a grapefruit, but her desire to hear _it_ again left the pain of it all lurking in the shadows.

_It._

The sound of nothing.

The sound of white, it flooded her with memories that happened so long ago she wondered if it was her imagination or if it was ever real.

But as she thought more and more about it, she could vaguely remember it, not as vividly as she did when she was knocked out of it, but she was young, very young indeed. She had overheard the conversation that clearly was never meant for her ears. It was not the way to find out your father was a killer and that your mother accepted it. Hell it shouldn't be that way in the first place, her father was suppose to be the businessman that worked in the office, not out in the field. Lives shouldn't have been lost to feed and pamper her.

However, if asked when she was placed into the shoes of an assassin? She'd say it was right after her father had called _them_, her siblings and herself, weak. At such a tender age, it was straightforward, he had said because they were weak they would die. There was no way that she wanted to die, or see Tali and Ari die, no, she would not let that happen. That only left one option.

And it was even before her father had even considered introducing her to the world of violence, that she had turned up before him, aged eight, and begged him to train her, to make her not weak. To make her live.

.::.

**A/N:** My apologies for it being short, but I'm just so busy right now that this was all I could get out. I'm really glad that you all liked where this is going… but considering the fact you've just commented off the basis of one chapter, erm… yeh.

Anyways, thank you for reviewing and more would be lovely ! ~

-Ash


	3. Unafraid

**III. Unafraid**

.::.

They must've grown tired at kicking her, what they wanted was fear from their beatings but instead she showed them desire, so the torture came when they didn't want to hurt her, and how ironic it was that they inflicted the most pain when they were doing nothing.

Cleverly she provoked them, she swore at them, called them pigs, kicked them, spat at them, she tried everything and she found one thing that worked every single time. No matter which part of the world she found herself in, people seemed overly protective of their mothers; she knew she would too, she understood that much.

"You think your mother would be proud of you? Huh?"

"Shut up!" A fast snappy blow to the head, just what she wanted.

"I think this was exactly the child she thought she would raise, a heartless killer, may as well –" and another full swing met her jaw. She knew she was getting there; she could taste the blood seeping slowly in her mouth.

"Where is she now? Did you kill her too?" and that bit him on the ass, big time, if it was possible steam would've been escaping from his ears like an over-boiled kettle.

Her mind blanked and suddenly it was white all over again, each time it happened it brought about a new memory, something she could never recover if she tried, these were memories buried so deep in her that she had forgotten they actually happened.

.::.

"_Ziva, be careful, don't go too close to the edge." Maybe it wasn't the best idea for Rivka to have brought her children to a Cliffside, but they were so enthusiastic and excited to see one that she simply had allowed it. She knew if Eli had been here he would be furious, he was protective that way, he would keep them at home like stowed goods, it was no wonder why the children didn't particularly like him, add to that his constant absence she wondered if her youngest even knew who her father was._

"_Ima, watch what I can do!" Her eldest, Ari, was not hers but he may as well have been, she loved him just as much as she did her own. He was a very lively child, very intellectual as well, but he had yet a lot to learn and that day he learnt something only a lesson in life could teach. Fear of loss. _

_Tali, her youngest, aged six and a half years old was an adventurer, and she'd explored down onto a step below the cliff edge. It was not until she heard the screams of her daughter that she noticed Tali clinging for her dear life on the edge on an obtruding rock. Ari though intellectual, clumsily lowered himself onto the ledge, he hadn't taken into account if the thin ledge could support his weight, and it barely did. _

_Ziva had caught on and saw the miniscule crack forming at the joint where the rock clung onto. She reached out her hand and dragged Ari back to the top before she lowered herself safely onto the now unstable ledge. Very quickly she pulled her sister back up and handed her over to Ari. If it had been a second longer Ziva would've crumbled down the cliff with the chipped rocks, but she'd gathered enough of a grip in the little crevice to keep herself in the air. Rivka finally arrived and leaned down just enough to pull her fearless child back up._

"_What were you thinking!"_

"_Sorry Ima." Rivka pulled her three children from the cliff side and embraced them all in a loving hug. An experience like that was too close for comfort._

.::.

Cold water splashed onto her face, she swallowed every droplet like it was the best thing she'd ever tasted, and then, satisfied with her achievement she lifted her eyes to look at the black cold dull ones.

And she smiled.

.::.

**A/N:** Thanks for all the reviews so far, much love to all of you who have dropped by. I've got four tests coming up this week so I'll try to squeeze in a little update.

-Ash


	4. Anything, Right?

**IV. Anything, Right?**

.::.

Saleem Ulman.

She learnt his name on what must've been the thirteenth day or so, through the jumble of a familiar yet completely unfamiliar tongue that grumbled through the corridors. She hated him, hated that he had caught her, defeated her and proved that she indeed was weak. On the contrary, he brought back memories that she was the stem of her values and morals; something she never could really identify was shaped by her own personality or by others.

She knew she couldn't keep going like this; her grasp on the days she'd been captured were vague and she was bound to lose count altogether, very soon. Her body was clearly weakening to the point she felt like coughing out her lungs. So she promised herself, five memories and she'd be done.

The five memories took a lot longer to meet than she had anticipated; her plan initially was to have it – her life – over and done with in a matter of days. But obviously he had other plans, he refused to meet her promise to herself, but after breaking nearly every other promise in her life, she knew she had to keep this one. This one was for herself, for every one that she'd ever broken.

.::.

"_Abba I love you," a girl dressed in a green dress smiled up at her father, her eyes filled with joy just to see him and his eyes filled with protective love._

"_I love you too, but I have to go very soon so I need to pack," the smile on the little girl's face drowned to a frown and the man let out a deep sigh, "now let's play nice, I can't do that face."_

"_Abba please?"_

"_Okay, I've got a few more hours, how about I take you to the park? We can have some ice cream," he suggested and the child brightened up and raced out of the room to get ready._

.::.

"You are the director of Mossad's daughter, I wonder how much I could fetch for you." The dark empty cell echoed with her melodious laugh.

"What is so funny?"

"My father does not care about me, trust me, it would be a miracle if he bothered to even consider paying for my freedom."

"Are you sure about that?"

"I am his daughter, am I not?"

.::.

"_I want strawberry Abba," the innocent voice of the little girl sang as she walked along the footpath with her father._

"_When I get back I'll bring you the best present ever," the man crouched down to his knees and gave a kiss to his daughter's forehead._

"_Where are you going Abba?"_

"_That is not for you to worry about, you just focus on studying well at school, okay?"_

"_But I will miss you…"_

"_I will miss you too, but promise me just this Ziva?"_

"_Yes Abba, anything for you."_

.::.

"You can try all you want, but he is only good at using people, I am already dead in his eyes."

"Eat your bread." The door slammed shut and she grabbed greedily at the little flat dough that sat dirtily amongst the sand.

.::.

**A/N:** Yes, please do feel sorry for Ziva, she is just like any other girl at heart.

And also prayers for the victims and families affected by the Japan earthquake and tsunami.


	5. Wait

**A/N: **I felt bad for not updating for so long so, here's another chappy for you guys (or if any of you still follow at all xD).

**V. Wait**

.::.

Time was edging closer and closer, she could almost see the finish line and it suddenly looked like what she'd longed for would come true after all. Of all the days she was trapped in that little cell on the rock hard sandy floor, she remembered one the most. It really ate at her, more than anything else.

The sun had just risen for its daily routine and she was expecting them to come soon. At what could've been only at most an hour after sunrise, they had still to make their appearance, confused and frustrated she kicked sand towards the cell door. It was fruitless, but she held on to a little hope. They _had_ to show up.

Her heart had sunken to a new low she never knew was accomplishable, her stomach was grumbling like Tony's, and the hunger pang was unbearable. But she wasn't bothered by that at all, she could starve by all means, but she needed them and soon, or she would go completely insane.

Her eyes were sagging under the immense weight both from sleepless nights and the lack of energy running through her veins, but she was brought back to full alert when the door finally opened. Her hopes rose and then upon realization fell to her dismay; the man was in and out of the cell within seconds. He only managed to drop her some food by the corner before rushing back out, avoiding any eye contact of her like she was viral or something.

She let out a soft sigh and just like the previous days she gulped down the little water she was offered and forced down the dry stale bread that tasted sour and foul. With nothing to distract herself with she leaned against the wall, and drew the coolness from the stones. It proved a great comfort and she let herself succumb to slumber, she'd take as much of it in this hell, it wasn't easy to sleep in this place.

.::.

When she next found her eyes opening, it was from the mangle of noises outside that echoed through the corridor; it lasted for a few minutes before the cell calmed to dead silence again. With the narrow gap that presented at the top left corner of her cell she could see the darkness of the sky and the light illumination of the moon.

It took another few minutes before she concluded and accepted that the men were indeed torturing her by isolating her, and it worked, they hit the nail straight on the head.

Frustration welled up from the depths of her stomach and after what felt like hours she managed to rise to her knees. She positioned herself against the wall and stared at it. She considered the consequences of her plan, but she didn't really give a shit at that moment if she would get a bruise or a little bump, what was the worst that could happen?

With a significant amount of force but not too much to crack her skull she launched herself towards the stone wall. Stars fluttered before her eyes and hell it hurt, but slowly her mind blanked and she finally got what she'd been waiting patiently for all day.

.::.

"_Ziva, you should not be here," dark irises stared at her in the doorway._

"_Then why are you here? I only followed you."_

"_Don't be smart Zi-va, Abba allowed me to come here, now you on the other hand he did not," he spat the words in disgust, and it took the young girl by surprise at the venom in her brother's voice, this was not the brother she knew, "look, you better get out of here, Abba would punish me if he saw you here."_

_But the little girl stayed put, putting up her stubborn front she moved closer to her brother._

"_ZIVA! Do you want me to get hurt?" the little girl shrunk back, her defense broken. The dark eyes softened and moved towards her, he enveloped her with a little brotherly hug then knelt down to her height._

"_No…"_

"_Then please Ziva, leave. Go study or play with your dolls."_

"_But –"_

"_Abba would like that." With a slight nod of the head the girl in the yellow dress back-tracked her steps and left the room. _

.::.

A cigarette burnt her skin and she jolted back to life, the scorched patch flared like wildfire.

"What the hell did you do?" He didn't bother letting her respond, instead he grabbed two weights and tied her to them. Usually she could move them but she was just too weak to even drag them along. The man spat at her and left, pissed off.

"I did what my father told me to." Her whisper barely escaped her lips as a single tear struggled its way down her cheek.

.::.


	6. Myself, Not You

**VI. Myself, Not You.**

.::.

Never had she felt better or prouder of herself. Yes, she wouldn't deny that it was a cowardly act to have done what she did in the first place. The only reason that now deemed valid to herself for her actions proved so.

She wasn't satisfied by her unintentional ability to piss off her capturer. No, she was satisfied that she had at least accomplished something in her life, well, at least she was on the verge of completing it. And it didn't matter that it was just a promise she made to herself.

She'd been held captive for months, which she could only assume from matching reality to what felt like years of captivity. And all the effort that she'd put in to hold on had only gotten this far.

Four memories. Four. Damn. Memories.

But she pushed those thoughts away, she had to keep herself in a right mind, which conveniently was the other side, the bright side, it was a plus really, she'd learnt just about every weakness and strength of Saleem. And that left her with a switch where when the time came she knew what buttons to push to make him crack that little bit and finish her off for good.

And now she could finally put it to the test. She'd arrived at the finish line, the end was steps away and she was so damn eager that she itched to just finish it off herself. But that would ruin her efforts, all the weeks of torture to achieve something she could not even show for, but nonetheless _she_ knew and that was enough.

She found it quite surprising at the unplanned sequential order of her memories; she hadn't planned to remember what she had forgotten anyways. But it couldn't be coincidence, she didn't believe in them, everything had a cause and effect, and she clung onto that, because without that her life would've all been a lie, nothing but false acquisitions.

.::.

"_Are you crazy?"_

"_Why not?"_

"_Why would you want to spend your life saving other people?"_

"_Why not?"_

"_Don't you want to fall in love and have a happily ever after?" Ziva watched her little sister jump around the room as she tried to somehow convince her to change her mind._

"_I am going to do this, I will talk to Abba as soon as he gets home."_

.::.

The subtle shut of the door was surprisingly enough to shake her out of her reverie; of all things it was the quietest of sound that flashed her back. She couldn't help but recognize that sound, it was all too familiar, but she knew it wasn't, because she was trapped in a dark muggy room; she wasn't back at the comforts of her family estate.

She expected him to speak, but he didn't, instead he played with the cap of his water capsule, clicking it annoyingly open and close. Then as she closed her eyes it all came back to her, the shut of the door and the deathly tick of the clock.

.::.

"_Abba, I want to join Mossad." The tall dark haired man stared at his eldest daughter, his eyes wide with bewilderment._

"_What are you talking about Ziva?" he hung his coat on the rack before he made his way into the study._

"_I want to protect people Abba." She shut the door quietly and clicked it lock before turning to face the man before her._

"_If this is coming from your… Ima, I suggest you rethink this."_

"_I am sure Abba." She tried her best to put up her toughest front, and yet a tear still managed to crack her firm mask and leaked through at the mention of her mother._

"_Ziva, listen to me, don't exchange your life for others, you live for you –"_

"_But –"_

"_Do this for your Ima." She couldn't say no to that, not when just three days before she bid goodbye to her mother forever._

.::.

She blinked her eyes in effort to stop the tears, and she did so successfully. She watched him with close examination as his throat flexed like a heartbeat while the red coloured liquid slithered from the bottle onto his lips.

"Why do you still keep me here?" her voice monotonous.

"You are an investment."

"…"

"And the great thing is I can only make a profit, so I'll keep you as long as I like and you will do as I say."

"I am free for you to kill, I am ready."

"You weren't ready all the times before?" he chuckled as if picking her bluff.

She wanted so badly to tell him, despite his intentions to use her; she just needed to know someone else knew that if she'd died before it would've been a waste, she wouldn't have died for anyone. Her father was right she should live for herself, and it would only make sense if she died for herself too.

And it was as if he read her mind, violently he wrapped her head with a black cloth sending her into darkness then with an aggressive jolt he grasped her and dragged her to her feet.

What was up for her? She didn't know.

But just before her vision was stripped from her she had caught a glance at what could very well be the last thing she'd ever see, his irises were dilated and for once she couldn't read what was on his mind.

Was death waiting for her?

Was this what it looked like?

Either way, she was ready.

.::.

**A/N:** Reviews are always welcomed! There will be one more chapter and then I'll say adios for awhile again ^^

*Please take a hot cocoa or iced lemon tea as you leave, it's my gratitude for everyone who has read!*

_And let's all keep praying for Japan, and hope they pull through of this continuous horrible disasters._


	7. Familiar Face

**VII. Familiar Face**

.::.

It may as well have been death.

But this was worse, well at least she expected it to be worse.

Her feet sagged under her weight as Saleem lugged her along, forcing her to support herself on her broken ribs that threatened to collapse any second. Her breath grew short and heavy and she could feel unconsciousness begin to overcome her frail body, but amongst all things she heard a little voice from the direction she was being dragged towards.

The voices faded, and the sand that brushed against his boots and her legs became a silencer and she thought she must've really gone crazy.

The sound of a creak gave her heads up that she was indeed entering a new cell, this must've been where they had decided to behead her, she really didn't mind where. But it'd be easier for them if they did it in a cell they no longer needed, cleaning up wasn't a big thing in the desert, she knew that from experience.

She was surprised when she felt the coolness of a chair underneath her lap, and yeah, that really got her worried, what had they planned for her that gave her the luxury of a chair?

The sunlight that beamed through the gap of the cell was much larger, the light penetrated through the canvas-like cover that showered over her head. When Saleem began to speak, she could hear the words that formed from his sick mouth, but for some reason she couldn't pull them together to actually listen and understand what the hell he was going on about.

All of a sudden the deep tone of his voice stopped altogether and she thought that was it, this was it. Her time had finally come. And indeed it did. Her face jerked back with the black cover as it was removed roughly from her head like a magician revealing some sort of trick that really was just an allusion, a scam. And she felt just like it, a scam.

The light was a welcome and her eyes darted up but then was stopped short, the journey to the opening never completed. And suddenly her confidence and yearn for death earlier seemed to be the greatest fear she could ever have dreamt of.

"One of you will tell me everything I need to know. The other will die." Still shocked, her head couldn't process what was in front of her. What was he doing here? Didn't he know she hated his guts like how cats hated water? Didn't he know she was supposed to die?

Her head was spinning with thoughts as the information loaded through her rusty brain, she saw his lips move but none of the sound ever reached her ears. It was strange and somehow comfortable, she wanted to slap herself, in the midst of deciding who would die and who would live, all she could think about was… nothing, it was ridiculous!

Instead, all she did was stare at him senselessly, taking in his longer-than-usual hair, the cuts and bruises that he didn't deserve and the smile that he shouldn't have been wearing. Not for her.

"You should not have come."

"Alright then, good catchin' up. I'm going now," the chair stood strong, not a single squeak of protest to Tony's weight crashing back down on it, "Oh yeah, I forgot. Taken prisoner."

His laugh was unexpectedly enough for her to consider forgiving him. No. That would've been a lie. She'd forgiven him the moment he first told her what happened, he was her partner and of all things she knew he wouldn't break Gibbs' rule. But it was her pride, her stubbornness that had swathed her and when she said what she did, she just couldn't admit to herself yet alone anyone else that maybe she was wrong.

She didn't know whether she should've apologize, or whether it was even an appropriate time to, their life hung in the balance and for once in her life she found herself stranded in a corner, like a trapped mouse. There were no other alternatives, she could not let him die, not after all he had done and to be completely honest with herself she wasn't ready either, despite her words earlier.

The dusty corner to the left of her peripheral revealed a shallow breathing McGee, and suddenly the urge to get them out of hell on earth was the only thing on her option list. There was only one problem. She had no idea how she would do it, she was weak, nurturing several fractured, broken bones and she just couldn't go up against this many men.

Then from nowhere, they were talking and she replied, but heck she didn't even know what she was saying, had she agreed to putting her hand up to knock on death's door she didn't even know. And for the first time she really considered the thought that she'd messed up her head big time with all the pain and trauma that she'd put it through.

Everything came as a strike of lightning after that, her perception of time was completely screwed. One second they were all talking, the next Saleem was in the room with a knife wielded in his hands. Then in a blink of an eye, a pool of blood streamed from beneath her captor's head, his eyes wide and drained.

And yeah, she was pretty much a walking zombie by the time they'd somehow managed to free and move themselves and her towards the door.

It was a great feeling, to know that she was going to be alright, but then it hit her like a slap on the face. She didn't have anywhere to go to, they'd bring her to DC, then what?

.::.

**A/N:** Yes, that's it… I'm thinking of doing a sequel that will cover the first half or so of season seven (see how Ziva adjusts back to NCIS), but leave a review for a yes or no. Thanks all for reading and reviewing hugs and kisses to you all!

**Special Thanks to:**

Anonymous033  
Alidiabin  
Hallalo  
Zoyarose  
ForeignMusicLyrics  
ChEmMiE  
NCIS-EW-HP-Gleek  
M E Wofford


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